Clue
by MissEmileigh
Summary: Emmett is bored... the game Clue is pulled out... Jacob "cheats"... Emmett acts like, well, himself...inspired by my little brother. BREAKING DAWN SPOILERS!
1. Chapter 1

Clue

Emmett really wants to play Clue, no Alice, but Jacob kind of forgets he has the Dining Hall, so Emmett gets into a big hassle about cheating.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not Clue or Emmett or even the outfits they were wearing. Darn.**

I was lying on the bed with Edward and Renesmee was in-between us. She was only a few months old, but already could have been in middle school.

"Ugh," my husband growled. Nessie looked at him in surprise; he usually didn't growl around her when nothing was wrong. He rolled over on the bed and pushed his beautiful face into the pillow with a heavy sigh.

"What is it, Daddy?" she asked cautiously. When he didn't respond, she looked to me and put her hand on my cheek asking the same question. I shook my head.

Just then, Emmett boomed in. She and I jumped, I was too focused on Edward to hear him, and Edward just sat up and rolled his eyes.

"Bel-la," Emmett whined. "I'm bored!"

"Emmett, darling," I said soothingly. "There's not much I can do for you."

"She's not a klutzy human anymore, Emmett," Edward hissed. "You can't make her fall for your own amusement; she is a vampire."

"Oh yeah," my brother- in- law said sadly, hanging his head. We sat silently for a moment before Emmett's head came back up again in a half second. "IWANNAPLAYAGAME!!" He yelled in the same half second.

Renesmee, Edward, and I rolled our eyes and fell back into the bed simultaneously. But a moment later, Renesmee sat back up again and wobbled back to her uncle, who hoisted her up, and put a hand on his cheek.

Emmett grinned and nodded his head. "Great minds think alike," he said to Edward and me, gesturing to the little girl in his arms.

"Clue?" Edward asked in a mocking tone.

I gasped. "I love clue!" Edward blinked at me, so I shoved him so hard he fell off the bed. "Oops."

"Momma is still tougher than Daddy?" I heard Nessie ask quietly over Emmett's rambunctious laughter, which grew even louder at the question. She jumped down from him and sat in my lap. _His laughing hurts my ears. It's too loud_, she said in her thoughts. I chuckled at that, though I wasn't surprised.

"But I can't play Clue," Edward said. "Stupid vampire mind reading abilities." I mentally laughed at that, remembering how I used to say the same thing about him and his Volvo.

Alice danced in then, swooped up her niece and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Edward, we can just watch. I can't play either; I'll see what the answer is." She frowned.

"But I want to play," mumbled Nessie. I saw her smiling as she said that, knowing she would get her way. Rosalie and Alice were right- she was a spoiled half- vampire.

I sighed. "All right, Emmett. We'll play with you." When he and Alice left with the tiny girl, I whispered to Edward, "and you can help me." He grinned and we sprinted back to the house from our cottage.


	2. Chapter 2

"Emmett, just roll the dice," Jacob said impatiently.

"FINE! Gosh, you're such a gay werewolf!"

We all exchanged looks, shook our heads, and went back to Emmett's guess.

"I'm not even going to comment," Edward said under his breath, receiving an evil look from his brother.

"I guess… me, Colonel Mustard, in the dining room, with the lead pipe," Emmett announced. He ignored Jasper's exaggerated _it's about time_ and looked to Jacob, who was sitting to his left.

Jacob had nothing, so we went around the circle, only Rose showing him something.

When it was Emmett's turn again, he went back into the dining room and made his next guess. Jake showed him a card, and Emmett's jaw dropped.

"But last time, you said you didn't have the dining hall!" He roared.

"Really?" Jacob asked, confused. "Oh, sorry, I was distracted."

"No, no you weren't! You… you _cheated_!" Emmett launched himself out of his chair and stabbed a finger at Jacob.

"I did not."

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"BOYS!" Screeched Rose. Jacob was red- faced and Emmett's hands were balled up into fists. "Knock it off, the both of you."

Edward stepped in then. "Emmett, he didn't cheat… his brain was focused on Renesmee the first round."

"Thanks, buddy," Jacob said sarcastically, slapping Edward on the back.

"Oh sure," Emmett fumed. "_Now_ you take the side of a puppy dog?"

"I heard his thoughts."

"Mmhmm, sure and I can fly." I wasn't positive, but I think Emmett was drunk. Maybe it was the buck he had today or something, but he was acting very different. "I'm going back upstairs to mope in my sadness; don't miss me too much." And with that, he stormed out of the room.

A second later he came back and grabbed something off of the table. "Just because I forgot my cell phone does _not_ take away any of the drama in this exit."

Once he got upstairs, he turned on his iHome and blasted Avril Lavigne's song "When You're Gone".

"Oh," he added loudly for us to hear. "And if you want to talk to me, talk to Avril because she wrote this song just for me. It describes the situation that previously happened in precise accuracy."

"I've never heard him use that many big words in one… day before," Jasper whispered. "I'm worried about him."

"But, Emmett!" I yelled up to him. "That song has nothing to do with what just happened."

I heard him go _psh_ and then he turned the music up louder.

"Um, does he always act like this?" Jacob asked nervously.

"That depends," Rose responded. "I think it was the buck he had earlier, though."

My laughter rolled from my tongue without any control at all. When I saw everyone staring at me, I said, "Sorry…. That was my prediction from the start."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know this isn't the greatest chapter, but it was the best I could do. It's kinda going off topic, just a tad with the Myspace thing, but still. Enjoy!!**

Around midnight that night, Emmett decided to protest against the werewolf. He logged on to his Myspace. I was the only one of his friends on; I had a Myspace mostly because Jessica wanted to keep in touch after graduation. After that, I learned Emmett and Jasper had made one for every person in their family. A moment after I logged on, I saw a bulletin posted by Emmett.

_Subject: READ THIS IS IMPORTANT!!_

_Whatever you do, don't trust Jacob Black or anyone in La Push, Washington. He is a loser and cheated at the game Clue. I will ban him from dating my niece and he's going straight to Hell for this! Delete him from your friends and your mind. DON'T TRUST HIM!! If you do, I will hunt you down with a crowbar and hit you over the head. And if that breaks, I will tear you to pieces. Except for Rosalie. And Jasper. And Bella. And Edward. And Nessie. Fine- and Alice. And my 'rents. But those are my only exceptions._

_Love you all (typed by Rose)_

_Yeah, whatever!_

_-Emmett ___

I sighed. "Emmett."

"What is it, love?" Edward asked.

"Emmett posted an anti- werewolf bulletin."

"Ah, he does that a lot."

"He does?" Not that I was _too_ surprised.

Edward chuckled. "Yes. When Jasper posted a picture of Emmett and Rosalie's sixth wedding on the internet, the same thing happened."

"The movie themed one?" He had told me all the weddings the two had. "When Emmett had to dress like Superman and 'save' the Louis Vuitton Rosalie- slash- Lois Lane at the reception?"

He laughed again and I joined in. "And the rest of us were famous movie characters."

"It's too bad I wasn't there- it sounded like so much fun."

"I was, ironically, Van Helsing, so you would've been Anna," Edward said.

"But still… why would Emmett have cared? I would think he'd like that kind of prank."

"Well, Jasper edited the photo with a Sharpie, stickers, and white out."

"Oh." I wasn't so confused anymore. "So Emmett did the same thing with Jasper?"

Edward nodded, and then shuddered, probably thinking of something I really didn't want to know.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, I was replying to Emmett's bulletin nastily while Edward looked on. When I got off and walked over to Renesmee, I head Edward sigh and a small _thump_. I looked at him, only to see that he was lying on the floor. I ran over to him, concerned, but he just sat up and sighed heavily again.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Emmett," he mumbled. "You have three seconds to run and hide."

BOOM! And Emmett was in the room. I sighed. "Emmett, what do you want? I'm kind of busy."

He snickered. "Oh were you and Edward going to-"He didn't finish because I cut him off and pointed to Renesmee, who was still staring at her father worriedly.

"Uhum," my brother- in- law cleared his throat. "Well, this is awkward…."

"Emmett!" I whisper- yelled to control myself.

"Huh?"

"Oh my God! Why the hell are you here?" I swear, I could kill him so easily sometimes.

"Right. I just wanted to know where Jacob was." He was rocking back and forth on his heels, like a toddler who was being pretty pathetic at apologizing for having his hand in the cookie jar before dinner.

"I don't know. Anywhere around food, is my guess since he isn't here with Renesmee."

"Okayyyy," he let the word go on, probably thinking. _Don't hurt yourself doing so_, I thought. "Well when you find him, send him to my room. All right?"

"Yeah, sure. Goodbye, Emmett." And I pushed him out the door, locking it without a word.

Of course about five minutes late, Jacob's God damned hand found the God damned door so I had to move again. He told me he had just come from Charlie's house, completely scared of Emmett. I was still peeved about getting my lazy butt off the seat, so I decided it would be best to fix the problem now instead of later. Because later, I'd be busy….

Apparently I was giving myself (and Jacob) and evil, seductive grin, because Jake was like, "Bella? You're scaring me."

"Sorry," I apologized. "Okay, we need to get you to Emmett."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know." He gave me a harsh glare, so I defended myself. "I won't let him hurt you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

We knocked on Emmett's bedroom door a few moments later. "Enter," came a voice. As I opened the door, I heard some keyboard tapping and someone getting up from a chair.

Jacob wouldn't go inside the room, so I shoved him in roughly.

"Ow," he complained. "That hurt like a bitch."

"What does a bitch feel like?" Emmett asked.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. "Why did you want Jacob, Emmett?"

"I wanted the dog because I wanted an apology."

"Oh, hell no!" Jacob yelled.

I sighed. "Apologize, Jacob."

"No way! I didn't cheat on the freaking game!"

"It doesn't matter. Say you're sorry!"

"Nuh uh!"

While we bantered back and forth, Emmett stood there with this crazy grin on his face. He watched us, but most likely without seeing or hearing us. God, he was demented.

"What the hell, Emmett?" Jacob stopped to look, too after I spoke.

"Nothin'," the huge vampire said. "I was just thinkin' of somethin' really cool I posted on my Myspace and how I'm not gonna show it to you guys unless the mutt apologizes to little ole me."

I stared at him incredibly. But Jacob froze. He started stammering, "Well… I didn't do… ahh… please show me, Emmett!" He finally exclaimed.

"Apologize."

"Argh! I wanna see your Myspace!" Jacob whined. I swear, Jacob and Emmett could've been the most immature babyish best friends if they weren't enemies.

Emmett cocked an eyebrow, waiting for something from my best friend. Jake sighed. "Damn it," he muttered. "Emmett, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry you what?" Emmett was enjoying this much, much more than he should have been.

"I'm sorry I cheated."

"That's okay. So you've _got_ to see this now!" They ran over the computer and I followed. "Look at this!" Emmett said. "It's my new quote thing that goes by your default picture when you see the Myspace-"

I cut him off. "The headline."

"Yeah. That. Like it matters. So anyway, mine says _friendship is like peeing yourself. Everyone can see it, but only you can get the warm feeling it brings_. How cool is that?!" He and Jacob were like little kids in a candy store and were so amazed by that. "And then," he continued. "Look." He showed us the picture on Edward's Myspace of him, Renesmee, and me and the comment he had posted. It read, _if you look at this picture upside down, you're upside down!! I'm not drunk or high, just sleep deprived. ____ Emmett_.

I got down on my knees and said, "Dear, Jesus. Please, with all your strength because I know it's going to take that much, help Emmett with his problems. Amen."

"Bella," Emmett said, turning in his chair to look at me. "That was just not nice."


End file.
